Rejection & the Blessed Mother

One of my big fears I’ve had in discernment is being rejected.

I’ve been researching orders and started to narrow down orders I was drawn to. But only one order really peaked my interest, I felt really drawn to that particular order. It’s a Benedictine monastery, conveniently not too far from where I live at the moment. I’ve been listening to their Gregorian Chants from their website and it’s just so beautiful. I feel so drawn to that order and though there are other orders I was interested in I didn’t feel the same immediate connection to it in the same way I did with this one. Because I felt drawn mostly to that order, I developed this fear that the community would reject me and then I’d be stuck. I supposed I might feel differently once I’ve visited the community but I had this horrible fear that I’d fall in love with it even more and then they’d say no and I’d just be completely devastated. That worried more than any of the other things I’ve been thinking about.

Yesterday I was looking through my normal sites and found a reference to an order I’d never heard of before. I don’t know why, perhaps it was that I hadn’t heard of it in my research and was curious. I found a branch of the order in the UK and though their website didn’t actually reference joining the community or anything like that it’s become my second choice. I’ll still visit it, I want to make sure I’ve visited more than just the one order – unless of course my first choice is so amazing that I can’t bear the thought of being anywhere else! So I’m feeling a lot more relaxed now, I’m not feeling quite so panicky about the thought of being rejected by my preferred order anymore.

On a separate note, I’ve been developing my devotion to the Blessed Mother recently. I bought a little statue of the Blessed Mother to put in my room (it’s right next to my bed) and there is a little chapel to her in my church and I’ve been going there to pray recently. I can spend an hour there, first with my prayer booklet and reading all the prayers to Our Lady there and then just talking to her. There’s no-one quite like a mother, and we all have the greatest one of all!

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5 thoughts on “Rejection & the Blessed Mother

  1. vitaconsecrata says:

    I'm actually going through a "derailment" right now. It's not easy but I'm confident in God's authority and plan for my life. It's my humanness that makes it more difficult.

  2. Thank you both for your comments, I wish you both luck in your own discernment, I will keep you in my prayers. Tina, it's very reassuring to know that you've had that experience but still carried on. It must have been terrible to go through but alas sometimes such things must happen before we find the right path. I just hope I can remember that if I have the same experience. God Bless.

  3. vitaconsecrata says:

    At the beginning of this year I was absolutely certain that I was going to join the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville, Tennessee. I went down there for a retreat in March and was in absolute awe. Later on, I met with the vocation director only to find out that she didn't think I was going to be a good fit for them. I was crushed. She had suggested a few other orders that I should look into but at the time I felt as though God was doing this on purpose – that maybe I wasn't meant to be a religious sister. Currently I am discerning an order in New Jersey (the Salesians) – it's an order that the vocation director had informed me of. One thing to remember is that vocation discernment is a journey and will not always go the way we have planned. It's important to always rely on God and what HE wants for us over what WE want for ourselves. Good luck. đŸ™‚

  4. I've just started reading your blog! I"m also discerning God's will for me. I live in Canada though. I found your blog through Catholic Answers(www.catholic.com).Take care, God bless!Sarah

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