So I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been trying to take some time out from blogging and stuff to sort of adjust to everything. Going through all my websites and changing things was very painful. It was like losing a part of my life, but doing those things also just cemented my feeling that this is the right path for me.
I was reading something my friend wrote about me and she said “Emily has posted that she believes that God is not calling her to the Religious life at this moment in time.” That last part was something that really struck me. Right now I do not feel that God is calling me to the religious life. But He might bring me back at some later point in time. I do not know right now, but I am happy with that. I don’t think my involvement with vocations to the religious life is over at all, although I don’t know in what capacity that will be. One thing I realised is that however ready I thought I was for the religious life, I really wasn’t. Right now, I am not sure I would be entering for the right reasons.
For however at peace I am with this, it has hit my prayer and my spiritual life quite hard. I am definitely struggling right now. I know I need to go to Reconciliation, just right now I’m not feeling all that repentant. I know I need to re-find myself spiritually otherwise I’ll just stay lost. I’ll get there, it’s just taking some adjustments.