Adjusting

So I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been trying to take some time out from blogging and stuff to sort of adjust to everything. Going through all my websites and changing things was very painful. It was like losing a part of my life, but doing those things also just cemented my feeling that this is the right path for me.

I was reading something my friend wrote about me and she said “Emily has posted that she believes that God is not calling her to the Religious life at this moment in time.” That last part was something that really struck me. Right now I do not feel that God is calling me to the religious life. But He might bring me back at some later point in time. I do not know right now, but I am happy with that. I don’t think my involvement with vocations to the religious life is over at all, although I don’t know in what capacity that will be. One thing I realised is that however ready I thought I was for the religious life, I really wasn’t. Right now, I am not sure I would be entering for the right reasons.

For however at peace I am with this, it has hit my prayer and my spiritual life quite hard. I am definitely struggling right now. I know I need to go to¬†Reconciliation, just right now I’m not feeling all that repentant. I know I need to re-find myself spiritually otherwise I’ll just stay lost. I’ll get there, it’s just taking some adjustments.

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3 thoughts on “Adjusting

  1. Emily,
    Just to let you know, I’ve been praying for you a lot lately, that you might find your way along the path which God is leading you on. You see, He has a very special, but also mysterious way of working with us. What you say, what I say, what others say can often have a real impact on our lives and how we live them. I have known people who have entered, left a week before solemn profession, re-entered, left after the novitiate, and are now STILL discerning a vocation to the Religious Life because they just haven’t found the right community yet. Be very attentive to the Holy Spirit, because even though now is not the time, there may be a time, when you least expect it, when God says, “Now is the time” – believe me, that’s what happened to me recently. I wasn’t meant to do the RCIA until next yr, then I ended up starting at one parish and getting a transferral only about a month ago to continue it in another parish! If He wants you somewhere, Emily, you will know, and He will tell you when the time is right. “Many are called, few are chosen”, but even in bearing that in mind, wherever He calls you to, respond with a generous heart. Do you pray the Divine Office? If not, you might try doing so regularly, as it can really help to open your heart up to the Holy Spirit.
    Keeping you always in my prayer,
    Kim Lee x

  2. I read something recently about a woman back in the 40s (or maybe a little later or earlier) who wanted to be a Nun and then realised it wasn’t her Vocation – she ended up having at least 7 children, more, I think, and ALL of them had Vocations to the Religious life and the Priesthood. She had had a vocation to the Religious Life in a different way… Just think how your witness, and your provision of the Vocations Operation along with Kim Lee can have that same effect.

    I greatly admire your ability to stand back, and state, not just to the public of the Internet but to yourself, that, at this time, it is not your calling. That is just as courageous – if not more so – than admitting that it is your calling!! And, who knows, He may lead you back, when you’re ready. (and when He’s ready!)

    Wishing you every blessing of peace and consolation, during what must be a very difficult and confusing time. Remember that He is with you, no matter what.

    God Bless, D

    • I have always wondered if perhaps I will have children who are called to the religious life. I do not doubt the Lord has something in mind for me, I don’t think my involvement with vocations is done yet!

      Admitting I am not called was much harder than ever feeling called. God may call me back, and I will happily go wherever He calls me.

      God Bless

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