Finding My Way

A Catholic Girl Trying To Find Her Way.

That is how I describe myself and my blog. I haven’t posted much recently for the simple reason that I’ve lost my way. I have come to terms with not being called to religious life and found an incomparable joy in the life that I am called to. I have lost my way in the sense that I have lost the practice of my faith. I believe, but I struggle to make it real in my life. I am reminded often of that quote from St. Augustine “Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.” This is part of my struggle – I’ll work on my faith, but not yet. I can make every excuse in the book, but it comes down to I don’t want to. I realise how awful that is. I feel guilty, but not guilty enough to change. I’m missing whatever it was that used to drive my faith but I don’t know what that is anymore.

May the Lord have mercy on my soul. I am in need but in no way deserving.

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2 thoughts on “Finding My Way

  1. Jeffrey says:

    Hi Emily, I am praying for you I had to eve the Franciscans ofm first order regular I miss it.was hurt lost my way I reflect daily as I live the Holy Gospel I pray for those daily whose Vocation was not to be that they always stay close to our Lord Jesus Christ I have had four months is prayer struggle I learned to pray out daily always in small ways often I pray for your helping an blessed blessings and Holy Joyous Joyful Joy fill your heart spirit and spiritual life again as before and beyond as well
    In Christ Jesus,
    In Prayerful Prayer,
    Jeffrey

  2. Dear Emily, I too have the same problem that you are facing right now. In fact your blog has helped me to come to terms with the fact that I will never be a religious. Not a third or second and of course not a first order. I was accepted into the third order of St. Francis just this past Sunday, and found at that very meeting after the ceremony, that the views of the people who are “Professed” in this particular group, are in no way in conformity with the Catholic Teachings. It is amazing to me how they even can be Franciscan! So I chose God first and had to decline what I always wanted. This order fitted into my busy schedule as a wife and mother. Living my life according to St. Francis is what I had done for most of my life. I just wanted to belong. I am coming to find out, that I do not need to BELONG to any group. I just need to live the life that God has for me right now. Just live it for Him! Offer up my uncertainties and my restlessness, and pain to Him! Live my vocation, and move on every day toward Him! Remember, the single life, is a vocation! Live it for Him! Keep the Sacraments, pray the Rosary daily. Learn as much from your faith as possible. Stay as close to God and the church as you can. God is in the whisper! Always have on your lips, “JESUS, I TRUST IN YOU”. PS My children and I choose to wear the veil as well. We were so happy to find your blog and the veil pattern, because the veils they offered at the stores were so very stiff. This is a mission that God has entrusted to you. Continue from there and see what the Lord will do through you! Many a Saint has felt like you do. Read about the lives of the Saints. They are a true inspiration! Date: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 16:26:09 +0000 To: pcg1227@live.com

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